I had a very restless night in the comfort of the big bed. My doltish companion and tattooed lady were oblivious to the discomforts of the night watch. I was roused several times by the strange noises and rustlings of the night, and dutifully sounded the alert, only to be met with stern angry words of SHUT UP. Gosh, I'm only doing my duty.....
Anyway, when dawn arrived, I gratefully passed the watch to the little short legged brown thing, only to find her skipping about in this new place, which was very similar to the yard I had become accustomed to, but much different and I was afraid for my safety.
The first thing to be negotiated was the fearful squeals and laughter from two small ones. These creatures are very unusual- built like the tall ones, but with faces and hands at the appropriate level for sniffing and licking. They smelled like peanut butter and toast. I soon realised that they were to be feared as much as the tall ones, as they chased me and ordered me about. So demeaning for someone of my rank. The little dullard delighted in these games, joining in the chasing and doing whatever they asked. Once again I am surprised at her lack of humility in these situations. As well as the two small ones, were two new talls, they just looked at me and laughed.... one was obviously the Alpha Male in this domain, but there was no relief from him, he just laughed and pointed at me too! Hmf.
|I ordered an inspection of the ranks... you can see the half hearted attempt to dress a straight line. Shameful.|
The second thing to be watchful of was the giant cliff that needed to be scaled EVERY time one wanted to go into the low abode. It was unbelievable that I, Colonel Mustard, was expected to climb this behemoth in order to be part of the pack. Well. I just plain refused. The tattooed lady obviously remembered my rank as she carried me up but then I was stuck there.
|the cliffs of insanity|
We arrived very soon at another un-known location. This place was the strangest yet. Vast expanse of water laying on the ground, but not like the place with the dux that I was accustomed to, this water was moving and smelled strange and wet and salty. Moving water as far as the eye could see, and on the ground, as well as all that water, soft stuff under my feet that made it hard to run. Not that I wanted to run, as I was afraid for my safety. Not a tree or bush or doorway in sight. And the wind... constantly blowing my ears back and making it hard to hear.
As usual, the little brown imbecile started playing her ball game. This time with one of the smalls. Oh my god. Why does she do it? Why does she chase that ball and bring the darn thing back? I tried to tell her to aloofly ignore it, as I do, but she will not listen to me. No, I'm sure its a sickness or compulsion of some sort. I hope it's not catching.
|the little half wit playing her game, while I dutifully check the perimeter the best I can under these terrible circumstances.|
The freedom was short lived of course, as soon I was recalled back into service. Gratefully the small one had stopped throwing the ball, so the brown creature once again returned to work with me on finding the perimeter.
I wandered away from my post for a minute exploring a situation that could have been set for an ambush. It was full of enticing smells, rotting things and fresh water.
|Ignoring my personal safety, I checked it out|
|Some of it smelled good enough to eat. I was sooooo hungry. Was it good? No! |
|proof that not everything is edible....|
|The water retreated before me... recognising my superior rank. I turned my back for a second and the water mounted an unexpected salvo! It was only by virtue of my advanced training and superior reflexes was I able to escape.|